The Wandering Pillagers of Pillager Patrol is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by A random Evoker with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate population of 4.73 billion Pillagers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The local Pillager Outpost. The average income tax rate is 64.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Pillagerian economy, worth 507 trillion Emeralds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 107,303 Emeralds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Dealers go from pushing drugs to pushing up daisies, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories", and tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pillager Patrol's national animal is the Ravager, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pillaging.

Pillager Patrol is ranked 23,992^nd in the world and 123^rd in The Dogeland Alliance for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 4,850.18 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.