The Commonwealth of Appelovich is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 267 million Appelovichians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 27.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Appelovichian economy, worth 15.9 trillion Apples a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 59,568 Apples, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, belief that Leader is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, viewers get headaches from trying to read the screen full of small print warnings that precede most TV shows, and tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Appelovich's national animal is the Giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Appelovich is ranked 100,098^th in the world and 1,977^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 15.07 flags saluted per person per day.