The Republic of Paraathletes is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by emperor trojan with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, public floggings, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.734 billion kellernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital arena. The average income tax rate is 47.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Kellernian economy, worth 96.2 trillion dowranians a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 55,501 dowranians, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Paraathletes is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", the official Kellernian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, and nine-year-olds are discovering that they can grow gardens in real life too. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paraathletes's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Paraathletes is ranked 74,861^st in the world and 1^st in the allies of western communism for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,355.58 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.