The Holy Empire of Palmpilot is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Pope Palmpilot with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 32.669 billion Palmpilotians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Palmpilot City. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The Palmpilotian economy, worth a remarkable 2,435 trillion palmpilots a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Cheese Exports industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 74,550 palmpilots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Solar death ray construction will commence as soon as it rains palmpilots, automotive regulators are throwing in the towel, the fattest folk in Palmpilot look to be the happiest ones, and prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Palmpilot's national animal is the goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Palmpilot is ranked 295,917^th in the world and 9^th in Fifth Wall for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 186.18 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.