The Protectorate of Paffnicard 8 is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avant-garde cinema, disturbing lack of elderly people, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.223 billion Paffniacs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The average income tax rate is 69.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 1,146 trillion banks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,405 banks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, a widely accepted trade policy is "tit-for-tat", building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure, and exports are stamped with "made by the invisible hand you commies". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnicard 8's national animal is the card, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is card farming.

Paffnicard 8 is ranked 264,829^th in the world and 24^th in 10KI Card Farm for Safest, scoring 13.5 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.