The Republic of Only Friends is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.95 billion friends are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 6.4%.

The thriving friend economy, worth 131 trillion friendships a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Average income is 67,261 friendships, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour, lending firms are subject to strict government regulations, citizens are abandoning their homes en masse in a widespread panic over asbestos, and the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Only Friends's national animal is the Boston, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Only Friends is ranked 271,315^th in the world and 1^st in BL Nations for Largest Governments, scoring 7.07 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.