The Republic of Olongon is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Ollah with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 8.663 billion Olongonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olontopia. The average income tax rate is 4.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Olongonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,869 trillion kilos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 331,242 kilos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys', the opposition leader's credibility has been undermined by constant attention drawn to a dodgy toupee, in coastal waters there are fifteen salvage divers per dead man's chest (yo ho ho), and bizarre-looking creatures called 'falcondogs' dominate wildlife preserves. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Olongon's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Olongon is ranked 291,165^th in the world and 5,499^th in the South Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -21.27 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.