The Left Hand Overlordship of Old Lucipia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The Bard with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.309 billion Old Lucipians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Free Catalina. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 42.2%.

The all-consuming Old Lucipian economy, worth 176 trillion National Default Credits a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Gambling. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 76,331 National Default Credits, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 218,852 per year while the poor average 21,181, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

Citizens are bankrupted by injuries to cousins they've never met, Big Agriculture has the government by the nuts, teachers flinch when students raise their hands too quickly, and the Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Lucipia's national animal is the Crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Hangmanism.

Old Lucipia is ranked 173,435^th in the world and 97^th in chiss ascendancy for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,502.33 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.