The Free Land of Old Eyanfaonie is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its restrictive gun laws and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 2.201 billion Old Eyanfaonieans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 35.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Old Eyanfaoniean economy, worth 48.7 trillion Fezzes a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 22,143 Fezzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Eyanfaonie's national animal is the Dragon.

Old Eyanfaonie is ranked 198,197^th in the world and 4^th in Eyanfaonie for Largest Populations, with 2.20 billion capita.