The ᴍᴀʀᴄʜɪᴏɴɪx ꜱɪʟᴠᴇʀ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ of Old Chimore is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Aristophana with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, soft-spoken computers, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 6.113 billion Old Chimoreans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Chimorean economy, worth 762 trillion K'ihs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 124,714 K'ihs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 457,591 per year while the poor average 24,060, a ratio of 19.0 to 1.

Citizens often glare angrily at jet contrails, raccoons are plump and satiated, kindhearted Old Chimoreans generously pay taxes for citizens of other countries, and even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Chimore's national animal is the Cockroach, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Chimore is ranked 97,824^th in the world and 4^th in Merciam for Most Extreme, scoring 23.54 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.