The Armed Autocracy of North Caldwell is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Hank Hill with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, enslaved workforce, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.505 billion North Caldwellians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arlen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.0%.

The frighteningly efficient North Caldwellian economy, worth a remarkable 1,007 trillion Capitales a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 223,701 Capitales, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,712,313 per year while the poor average 7,938, a ratio of 215 to 1.

Government statistics suggest 115% of the population love Hank Hill, the government is full of esquivalience, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, and the government insists that bizarre Lilliputian language game shows were made domestically. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Caldwell's national animal is the Black Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Hillian Catholicism.

North Caldwell is ranked 324,352^nd in the world and 4,183^rd in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 5.13 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.