The Republic of Noob9 is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its ritual sacrifices, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.072 billion Noob9ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 67.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Noob9ian economy, worth 247 trillion Noobs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 80,620 Noobs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Childhood friends of Leader are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense, nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts, and children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noob9's national animal is the Noob, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Noob9 is ranked 87,618^th in the world and 10^th in Noob for Highest Average Incomes, with 80,620.66 Standard Monetary Units.