The Republic of Noob5 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ritual sacrifices, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, devout population of 2.961 billion Noob5ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 63.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Noob5ian economy, worth 215 trillion Noobs a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 72,869 Noobs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, confused drunks wake up to irate drill sergeants whipping them into shape, it's never "just a game" with Noob5ian sports fans, and elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noob5's national animal is the Noob, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Noob5 is ranked 182,744^th in the world and 20^th in Noob for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 6,659.57 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.