The Tired Backs of Ninetifive is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Coffee with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, flagrant waste-dumping, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 3.231 billion Ninetifiveans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Longday. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Ninetifivean economy, worth 676 trillion cogs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 209,250 cogs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 630,580 per year while the poor average 54,134, a ratio of 11.6 to 1.

The Counter-Terrorism Unit has been nicknamed "Big Bad Wolf" for its tendency towards urban demolition, a chain of pubs that cater solely to children has recently been unveiled, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, and out-of-work soldiers and bureaucrats can often be found camped out in front of manservant academies. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ninetifive's national animal is the laziness, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Working.

Ninetifive is ranked 1,609^th in the world and 3^rd in Panama Papers for Least Corrupt Governments, with 96.76 percentage of bribes refused.