The United American States of New Minecraft 2 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by John Hoverland with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.276 billion Minecraftians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vivar. The average income tax rate is 75.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Menicraffic economy, worth 846 trillion Kolus a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 116,372 Kolus, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Trust-fund babies line up for places in community college, money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them, the nation is proudly the least fertile in Wintercrest, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Minecraft 2's national animal is the robin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

New Minecraft 2 is ranked 243,511^th in the world and 82^nd in Wintercrest for Most Primitive, scoring -134.42 on the Scary Big Number Scale.