The Blue Matriarchy of New Lapis Lazuli is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Lapis Lazuli with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.036 billion Lazulians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mask City. The average income tax rate is 87.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Lazulian economy, worth 620 trillion Lupines a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,774 Lupines, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail, there's a bright dawn ahead for New Lapis Lazuli, nuclear reactors are held together with party string and Hubba Bubba, and the government is reining in public spending. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Lapis Lazuli's national animal is the Pumpkin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Lapis Lazuli is ranked 263,235^th in the world and 16^th in The United Empires of Carson for Most Primitive, scoring -204.6 on the Scary Big Number Scale.