The Borderlands of Near-Eastern Affairs is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service and avant-garde cinema. The compassionate, devout population of 1.243 billion Near-Easterners have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 20.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Near-Eastern economy, worth 70.2 trillion dinars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,458 dinars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Election ballot papers are so long that unused ones are recycled as toilet roll, fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, and a major religion has been named as Near-Eastern Affairs's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Near-Eastern Affairs's national animal is the rock hyrax.

Near-Eastern Affairs is ranked 33,298^th in the world and 7^th in Mediterranean for Nicest Citizens, with 19.56 average smiles per day.