The Kingdom of Mister Teal is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its anti-smoking policies, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.591 billion Mister Tealians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 86.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mister Tealian economy, worth a remarkable 1,389 trillion Drams a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 144,913 Drams, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, the Mister Tealian Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation, recognizing the Mister Tealian flag qualifies you for citizenship, and foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mister Teal's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mister Teal is ranked 14,821^st in the world and 17^th in Schopenhauer for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.38 law-abiding acts per hour.