The United States of Midlands is a behemoth, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 51.836 billion Midlandsians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Midlandsian economy, worth an astonishing 45,979 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 887,021 sand dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,380,834 per year while the poor average 39,717, a ratio of 160 to 1.

Recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed, kitchen patrol is dominated by ten-year-old runts, heavily-laden pregnant women are told they can manage, and Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Midlands's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Midlands is ranked 1,893^rd in the world and 3^rd in NationStates for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 8,284.21 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.