The United States of Midlands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 42.744 billion Midlandsians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Midlandsian economy, worth an astonishing 33,391 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 781,200 sand dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,649,673 per year while the poor average 60,112, a ratio of 77.3 to 1.

The government has declared its commitment to multilateralism, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, and court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Midlands's national animal is the bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Midlands is ranked 4^th in the world and 2^nd in Capitalist Paradise for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 107.39 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.