The Colony of Metzger is a mammoth, efficient nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 6.081 billion Metzgerians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.5%.

The thriving Metzgerian economy, worth 398 trillion aurums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 65,552 aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 239,641 per year while the poor average 12,719, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

Surveillance cameras are banned and tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. Crime is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Metzger's national animal is the bovina.

Metzger is ranked 328,330^th in the world and 1^st in Repubblika ta Malta for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring -4.47 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.