The Confederated Republic of Melonania is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Chancellor Ulrik with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 16.861 billion Melonanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melontropolis. The average income tax rate is 25.9%.

The thriving Melonanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,428 trillion Lonas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 84,701 Lonas, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

There's a big brother in every prison, young girls often attend the same schools as their children, much of Melonania's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence, and cleaners are very careful not to bump into the big red button on Chancellor Ulrik's desk. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Melonania's national animal is the Cobra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Melonania is ranked 78,641^st in the world and 5^th in Valderon for Most Corrupt Governments, with 24.81 kickbacks per hour.