The Commonwealth of Melon Heads is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Doge Egusi with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working population of 9.188 billion Melon Heads enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ianatus. The average income tax rate is 63.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Melon Head economy, worth 729 trillion Pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 79,368 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The government is attempting to revitalize a gutted private sector, politicians who vacation in East Lebatuck lose their jobs upon their return, the Ianatus Women's Prison Choir now has a baritone section, and exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed. Crime is totally unknown. Melon Heads's national animal is the Possum, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Melon Heads is ranked 31,986^th in the world and 4^th in The Pristine Wilderness for Smartest Citizens, with 54.68 quips per hour.