The Cayon Democratic Republic of Mellowdane is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by UCL Seiteita Deril Gaelida with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 10.703 billion Mellowdeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, socially-minded government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Defense, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melotinia. The average income tax rate is 16.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Mellowdean economy, worth 819 trillion Nulcranis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 76,536 Nulcranis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft, UCL Seiteita Deril Gaelida's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, and male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mellowdane's national animal is the Avren Crane, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Naelitaism.

Mellowdane is ranked 129,223^rd in the world and 4^th in Sub Pacific for Largest Governments, scoring 13.75 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.