The Nostalgia of Melancholica is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory military service, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 29.256 billion Melancholicans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melancholica City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 61.0%.

The powerhouse Melancholican economy, worth a remarkable 1,427 trillion qets a year, is extremely specialized and solely comprised of the Tourism industry. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 48,804 qets, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government seizes all major gold finds, abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, Leader steals from the rich and gives to the needy, and candlelit dinners are less romantic with a flickering LED. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem. Melancholica's national animal is the rykyker, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Melancholica is ranked 285,503^rd in the world and 11,029^th in Balder for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -19.64 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.