The Cañoneros of Mazatlan FC is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Facundo Almada with a fair hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, pith helmet sales, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 2.101 billion cañoneros are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Estadio El Encanto. The average income tax rate is 68.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient cañonero economy, worth 275 trillion peso mexicanoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 131,364 peso mexicanoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, the government subsidizes those who produce the worst results, the traditional Violetist dish of stuffed sheep's head is served with an intense look of shock upon its face, and the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mazatlan FC's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is catolicismo.

Mazatlan FC is ranked 110,091^st in the world and 11^th in Puppet Storage for Bongos for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 2,328.01 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.