The Dictatorship of Massive Country is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Robert Loggia with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ritual sacrifices, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.85 billion Massive Countryians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamatea. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.6%.

The all-consuming Massive Countryian economy, worth 192 trillion Dubloons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 104,247 Dubloons, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 613,381 per year while the poor average 8,246, a ratio of 74.4 to 1.

Inheritance tax has recently been abolished, the government is outsourcing itself, anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves, and citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Massive Country's national animal is the Anteater, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Aura.

Massive Country is ranked 4,209^th in the world and 2^nd in Penguin Land for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 6,811.28 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.