The Kingdom of Mall of Ice is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by King Ian Melnish with an even hand, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, pith helmet sales, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 18.16 billion Mall of Iceans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Environment, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 23.0%.

The thriving Mall of Icean economy, worth a remarkable 1,199 trillion Ice Cubeses a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 66,025 Ice Cubeses, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Colonial subjects have Mall of Icean culture shoved down their throats, the government is flooded with compensation requests, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, and many in Mall of Ice are born in the purple. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Mall of Ice's national animal is the White bears, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mall of Ice is ranked 304,392^nd in the world and 111^th in matheo for Nicest Citizens, with 0.91 average smiles per day.