The Principality of Malkavia is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Princess Selene with an iron fist, and notable for its burgeoning bat population. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.678 billion Malkavians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poenari. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The Malkavian economy, worth 299 trillion sanges a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is 52,815 sanges, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps, and home renovation projects take decades to complete. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malkavia's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is vespertilism.

Malkavia is ranked 81,464^th in the world and 4^th in Wallachia for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,609.22 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.