The United Holy States of Malchata is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Supreme Authority Michael Jr with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 2.03 billion Malchatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Defense, and Spirituality are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auriville. The average income tax rate is 52.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Malchatan economy, worth 141 trillion zrugots a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 69,641 zrugots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government pours millions of zrugots into rehabilitation programs annually, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and the Man in the Plastic Mask has been imprisoned in the Capital Penitentiary. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malchata's national animal is the goose, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Beefism.

Malchata is ranked 120,897^th in the world and 41^st in kingdom of Greater Esteriae for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,474.04 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.