The United Holy States of Malchata is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Supreme Authority Michael Jr with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, devout population of 2.16 billion Malchatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government is primarily concerned with Administration, with Education, Defense, and Spirituality also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auriville. The average income tax rate is 54.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Malchatan economy, worth 156 trillion zrugots a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 72,088 zrugots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One can wake up in Malchata and have breakfast in Bigtopia, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Malchata, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of high velocity delivery drones, and it's faster to buy a new device than wait for your old one to be fixed. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malchata's national animal is the goose, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Beefism.

Malchata is ranked 13,291^st in the world and 1^st in kingdom of Greater Esteriae for Nicest Citizens, with 27.03 average smiles per day.