The District of Malairt is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Laird with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.576 billion Malairtians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.6%.

The thriving Malairtian economy, worth 674 trillion triqs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Average income is 70,395 triqs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 327,044 per year while the poor average 9,105, a ratio of 35.9 to 1.

Maxtopian tourists make expensive pilgrimages to District City to enjoy their national art, Malairt has designated District City as its capital city, Laird has just been declared ruler of Malairt in an international press conference, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Malairt's national animal is the trout, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Malairt is ranked 218,027^th in the world and 1^st in the Republic of Zimbabwe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 443.33 pounds of wildlife per square mile.