The Irish Republic of Main is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Main Man with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, hatred of cheese, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 29.972 billion Mainiacs have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mainland. The average income tax rate is 67.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mainiacal economy, worth a remarkable 2,807 trillion Dollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,659 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation, businesses are abandoning the city centre because of the lack of transport connections, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be, and cars speed down national highways while drivers sleep at the wheel. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Main's national animal is the Monster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Main is ranked 3,371^st in the world and 2^nd in Eireann for Safest, scoring 134.77 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.