The Oppressed Peoples of Lowguard is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 989 million Lowguardians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 36.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Lowguardian economy, worth 21.4 trillion January 2026 to January 2026s a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 21,648 January 2026 to January 2026s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Medical experts advise that those claiming to be medical experts are probably fraudsters, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, when their backs are against the walls Lowguardians look out for gay men, and Leader's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lowguard's national animal is the Wildlight Entertainment Inc, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Lowguard is ranked 213,123^rd in the world and 64^th in Steam for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.