The Socialist Republic of Longdendale is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Longdendale Bauheim with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, free-roaming dinosaurs, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.879 billion Longdendaleans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tintwistle. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Longdendalean economy, worth a remarkable 3,177 trillion Bottle Caps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 152,188 Bottle Caps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow, pocket dialling is a criminal offence, migrating birds in the nation's airspace are considered a violation of national sovereignty, and students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longdendale's national animal is the Death Claw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spud.

Longdendale is ranked 601^st in the world and 1^st in United Kingdom for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 25,457.52 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.