The Democratic States of Long Lived King- is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its public floggings, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 1.435 billion Long Lived King-ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 54.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Long Lived King-ian economy, worth 131 trillion snails a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 91,433 snails, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,987 per year while the poor average 10,513, a ratio of 43.0 to 1.

Many feel that the government's ban on cars to combat reckless driving was "a tad excessive", wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", cops with assault weaponry are forcing their way into private homes to search for terrorists, and politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Long Lived King-'s national animal is the owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Long Lived King- is ranked 50,310^th in the world and 22^nd in Mud Puddle 450 for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 5,347.34 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.