The Socialist Confederacy of Cannonio is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Fello Timmik with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.275 billion Cannonese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Catain. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cannonic economy, worth 539 trillion Cannonballs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 126,175 Cannonballs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, birth rates have hit an all-time low, feeling like a winner comes at a price, and conversion therapy coupons are a popular present for coming of age ceremonies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cannonio's national animal is the Stonefish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cannonio is ranked 13,300^th in the world and 79^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,330.97 pounds of wildlife per square mile.