The Jingoistic States of Lahtis is a mid-sized, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 76 million Lahtisians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 62.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Lahtisian economy, worth 2.74 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 36,036 Markkaa, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Water fights now end with thousands dead, children seem to be getting better at lying these days, older ladies are inundated with offers to help them cross the road, and Air Lahtis tickets have reached sky-high prices due to a complete monopoly on air travel. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lahtis's national animal is the Karhu, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lahtis is ranked 121,817^th in the world and 563^rd in Concord for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,185 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.