The Colony of Lagoona is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 6.683 billion Lagoonans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The very strong Lagoonan economy, worth 339 trillion aurums a year, is led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 50,724 aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 145,484 per year while the poor average 14,068, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit and tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Lagoona's national animal is the bovina.

Lagoona is ranked 235,232^nd in the world and 1^st in Lagoona for Longest Average Lifespans, with 66.17 years.