The Free Land of Lacard 1 is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and triple-decker prams. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.466 billion Lacard 1ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.6%.

The thriving Lacard 1ian economy, worth 164 trillion deniers a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 66,814 deniers, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Traffic cops are puzzled to see that nobody exceeds the speed limits, black gold is looking more brown these days, patch v22.1705 - all developers are now paid for work, and pinkie promises are a matter of life and death. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lacard 1's national animal is the dolphin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Lacard 1 is ranked 280,512^th in the world and 1^st in freedom association for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -3.16 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.