The Democratic States of Krampustown is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Krampus with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, free-roaming dinosaurs, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.344 billion Krampustownians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Christmastown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Krampustownian economy, worth a remarkable 4,116 trillion Krampuscoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 286,954 Krampuscoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 837,088 per year while the poor average 77,726, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

Distrust of taps has many people bathing only with bottled mineral water, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, and electricity company executives pray nightly to Zeus and Thor. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Krampustown's national animal is the Goat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Krampustown is ranked 2,248^th in the world and 3^rd in Christmas for Most Corrupt Governments, with 330.47 kickbacks per hour.