The Federal Republic of Kolien is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-working, democratic population of 297 million Kolienians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Education. The average income tax rate is 9.0%.

The strong Kolienian economy, worth 20.9 trillion Koldios a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Gambling. Average income is 70,505 Koldios, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Comedians who make offensive jokes have their ticket proceeds seized, children regularly take part in blood sports that result in extreme boo-boos, the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots, and factories grind to a halt every time there is an election. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Kolien's national animal is the Penguin.

Kolien is ranked 110,884^th in the world and 533^rd in The Frontier Sea for Nicest Citizens, with 14.16 average smiles per day.