The Suit of Armor of Knocklem is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, ban on automobiles, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 3.925 billion Knocklemians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 67.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Knocklemian economy, worth 276 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 70,337 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists, soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers, muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions, and a bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Knocklem's national animal is the penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Knocklem is ranked 292,791^st in the world and 5^th in USN for Highest Food Quality, scoring 6.68 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.