The County of Klickitat is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Gifford Pinchot with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.662 billion Klickitatians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Goldendale. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.3%.

The strong Klickitatian economy, worth 224 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is 61,436 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.5 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news, employees who skip lunch to avoid sub-par cafeteria food risk getting fired, teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers, and twelfth-generation Klickitatians are deported for not knowing Gifford Pinchot's childhood nickname. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Klickitat's national animal is the eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Klickitat is ranked 276,477^th in the world and 13^th in County for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 9.34 Effective Tax Rate.