The Child of the Deep of Kelpsea is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, disturbing lack of elderly people, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.585 billion Kelpseans, 2.46 billion of whom are zombies, are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 47.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Kelpsean economy, worth 381 trillion pesos a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 84,582 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth, the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", and seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelpsea's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelpsea is ranked 47,328^th in the world and 2^nd in Brasilistani territories for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 731.84 on the Clooney Contribution Index.