The Retired but still Active of Kelban is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 4.233 billion Kelbanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny government prioritizes Welfare, although Defense, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tritania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.8%.

The strong Kelbanian economy, worth 274 trillion Kelban Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 64,781 Kelban Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Radio stations are forbidden to play anything with too much drum or bass, masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery, sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming, and Kelban has designated Tritania as its capital city. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Kelban's national animal is the White Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Kelban is ranked 294,551^st in the world and 4^th in Roses Without Thorns for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 179.86 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.