The Silent Watchtower of Keep quiet is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Silas Silence with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 26.981 billion Keep quietians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silenttown. The average income tax rate is 85.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keep quietian economy, worth a remarkable 3,738 trillion Quiets a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 138,572 Quiets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions, the government is reining in public spending, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, and mice with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Keep quiet's national animal is the mouse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is La Silence.

Keep quiet is ranked 240,198^th in the world and 1^st in DO NOT DISTURB for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 19,954.51 Standard Monetary Units.