The Garden Isle of Kauai is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Kamea Manaloa Waiola with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 18.078 billion Kauaians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lihue. The average income tax rate is 9.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kauaian economy, worth a remarkable 3,364 trillion kalas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 186,121 kalas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Referenda can be called for any law at the request of at least one third of the voting population, newborn babies can only be discharged from maternity wards during daylight hours, genetic research is facing major headwinds, and making up random numbers to name new asteroids is the bulk of astronomers' work. Crime is totally unknown. Kauai's national animal is the Chelychelynechen quassus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of the Goddess Violet.

Kauai is ranked 7,391^st in the world and 1^st in Hawaii for Smartest Citizens, with 108.71 quips per hour.