The Republic of Kartof is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by President Azer Amirbeyov with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, free-roaming dinosaurs, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.261 billion Kartofians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Москва. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Kartofian economy, worth a remarkable 1,358 trillion Новацs a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 258,306 Новацs, with the richest citizens earning 8.5 times as much as the poorest.

Москва's iconic yellow taxis are nowhere to be seen, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, and employers may fire workers without giving any reason. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Kartof's national animal is the Dodo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kartof is ranked 288,313^th in the world and 14^th in Aros Elyium for Safest, scoring 4.23 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.