The Scary Door Founder of Kaba Esumi is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Kaba Esumi with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, state-planned economy, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 7.643 billion Kaba Esumians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turu. The average income tax rate is 55.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Kaba Esumian economy, worth 546 trillion small burgers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 71,550 small burgers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation, the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", babies are a small but significant export, and human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants. Crime is totally unknown. Kaba Esumi's national animal is the raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Violetism.

Kaba Esumi is ranked 65,363^rd in the world and 1^st in The Scary Door for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.8 law-abiding acts per hour.