The Jingoistic States of Jyvaskyla sub-region is a mammoth, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, parental licensing program, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, devout population of 5.237 billion Jyvaskyla sub-regionians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 46.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Jyvaskyla sub-regionian economy, worth 664 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 126,878 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Hot dogs have been renamed lukewarm pigs, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step, people often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, and children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jyvaskyla sub-region's national animal is the unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Jyvaskyla sub-region is ranked 53,214^th in the world and 15^th in Sub regions of Finland for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 2,037.48 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.