The Glorious Empire of Jonkle Land is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Jonkler with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.833 billion Jonklers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arkham. The average income tax rate is 72.2%.

The powerhouse Jonkle Landian economy, worth 572 trillion Jonkles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 149,320 Jonkles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

In life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered, exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end, and war is made in the name of love. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jonkle Land's national animal is the Chimera, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of The Jonkler.

Jonkle Land is ranked 325,522^nd in the world and 17,632^nd in Osiris for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 11.74 on the Kitten Softness Rating.